oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
