the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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