Porn is love you can see.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
