I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Randomize
