you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
