...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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