I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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