I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
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I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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