he wants to bone in the snuggie
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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