I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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