Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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