I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize