i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
