before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
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