So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
