If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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