im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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