At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
