there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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