ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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