First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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