Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
