4 words: hood of his car
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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