Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
