is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
