i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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