sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
