Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize