I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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