this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
