Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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