so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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