Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
