So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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