Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
