Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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