gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
