If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
