I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
