LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
