I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
