Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
