Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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