One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
