oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
