No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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