last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
