I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
