you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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