He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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