I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
