Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
