yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
pray to the hookup gods
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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