So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
