Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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