She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
