soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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