That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
