Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
